The Simpsons Halloween: 30 Nights of Day
by Mauvemage
Summary: In Alaska. At the height of Summer. The Sun does not set.


The Simpsons Halloween – 30 Nights of Day.

"Whoo-hoo, the Simpsons and are going to Alaska." Homer jubilantly announced arms lifted up to the ceiling.

Maggie looked on, wondering what awaited them this time.

"Alaska, why would we want to go there, it's so cold." Commented Marge coming

Into the living room, still drying a dinner plate.

"Not if we go in summer it's not, Marge," Homer drawled the word Marge, like he'd scored a point.

"In Barrow Alaska, in the summer the Sun never goes down, it happy daytime all the time!" He sounded completely sure of himself.

"But what about sleeping," inquired Marge, "you love sleeping."

"Don't try to change the subject Marge" Homer said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Thanks to Bart and his poindexter friend Millhouse, we're going to Alaska."

"Yep that's right Homer my man," Bart announced appearing next to his mother.

"Thanks to a little thing I like to immodestly call cheating, me and Millhouse sent Martin Princes idea for unlimited energy sources on the worlds edge to the good

People at Powerglon and we won first prize!"

"Viva la Bart!" He announced triumphantly.

"Wait, Bart, if you cheated, I really don't approve of that." Marge said reproachfully.

"Oh come on Marge!" Homer said, "If the Simpsons had to go through life, winning everything fair and square, where would we be?"

"I'll tell you where," he said before she could reply. "Not in Alaska, that's where"

"Yeah mom, it'll be great" Bart chipped in, "Lisa can take her telescope, do her science stuff and Maggie can, well, do her baby thing. But in Alaska!"

"Really Bart, despite what your father thinks, cheating is still wrong."

"Well, we're going to sunny Alaska and that's final!" Homer announced.

"Oh, and Millhouse too," Bart added, "his name was on the entry."

"Oh, what, Millhouse actually has to come!" Homer cried and looked annoyed. "Why'd you have to involve him?"

"It was my idea, but he made it happen." Bart said simply.

"Okay, fine he'll come along," Homer said, "but he's sharing your room."

"Wow, Alaska, in the middle of summer, the eternal sunshine of the intelligent mind seen through the light of Lord Buddha himself."

Lisa made her observation whilst sitting in her aircraft seat.

Everyone ignored it except Millhouse.

"Yeah, Lisa, that! And plus there's gonna be lots of other crazy stuff, y'know with me around and all. Crazy Millhouse, never know what he'll do next!"

Lisa barely gave him a glance, his crush on her was okay, but it got a bit old after a while.

"You know what the first thing I'm gonna' do when I get there?" Homer announced.

"What Homie dear?" Marge played along, knowing he'd tell them all anyway.

"Shoot a grizzly bear, Powerglon threw in a hunter's license! I always wanted to and now I'm gonnna'!"

"Dad, no, you can't!" cried a horrified Lisa, "besides you loves bears remember that one you helped save from those hunters."

"Lisa, if Teddy Roosevelt became a man by killing a bear, then so can I!"

"No, dad that's wrong! He didn't kill the bear, in fact, that's where teddy bears get their name from."

Homer glowered, "stupid Lisa and her stupid president," he mumbled to himself. "Teddy bears are for Babies," he said louder, "are you a baby Lisa?"

"No, but Maggie is and she loves Bears"

Homer looked at Maggie, snuggled in Marge's arms. Holding a cute little toy bear.

"Stupid Maggie and her stupid stuffed animal" he muttered to himself.

"Say Bart," Milhouse said, turning towards his best friend in the window seat. "What are you planning. Something rad. I'll bet."

Bart looked nonchalant. "Well we'll see, Millhouse, we'll see. It's still cold way up there even in the summer and I wanna' check my Barings first."

Milhouse was surprised. But Bart was in cool mode and he knew this was going to be a fun trip.

Little did he know there were sinister beings gathering in the town of Barrow Alaska.

The No-Fo lodge was a situated right in the centre of town.

"No-Fo, that's a very odd name," Lisa commented when they arrived in the lobby.

"Hello and welcome to the No-Fo! Announced a garrulous young man, he walked over and shook Homers hand. "I'm Greg Burk and I'd like to congratulate you for winning the Powerglon contest. You must be Bart and Milhouse." He said turning towards the two boys.

"You sure have some serious smarts to come up with energy idea." He said sounding sincerely impressed.

"No big deal," said Bart, "what I want to know, is what's to know about Barrow? Got any bigfoot's around here?"

"We don't need Big Foots or any other kind of monsters to have fun around here."

"Why, if it the sun actually went down, you'd see the Aurora Borealis."

"Yeah and?" Bart asked pointedly.

"And we have, well, I wouldn't want to spoil the excitement for you to much, but there will be a tour of the power plant and the local sheriff's office."

"Oh, great stuck for a whole week in bores-Ville." Bart moaned.

"I'm sure there are lots of fun things for you to do dear." Marge said.

"Yeah Bart, we can explore the town and y'know, do stuff." Milhouse said excitedly.

Bart thought for a moment, "Well, this is an innocent place, Barrow Alaska, you're about to have the Bart Simpson experience."

Meanwhile, outside of town, a group of characters in longs coats were gazing down

at the people and dwellings that shone in the harsh, icy light."

"Ah feel that sun," the tallest of the group said, "It is going nowhere for the next four weeks, the town belongs to us."

"We should have come here before." Another said with satisfaction.

A third added, "The age of man is at an end, this is the age of the Reverse Vampire!"

Note; all the above is translated from the original 'Reverse Vampire' which incidentally, sounds exactly like Vampire, only in reverse.

A fourth member of the group, a pretty teenage girl spoke up, "'like, we totally don't have golden glowing skin in direct sunlight, that would be y'know, so cool if we did."

The leader, a heavy set man, with short hair that was black and grey, considered her words.

"Cool, true, true," he said wistfully, "but our victims would see us coming a mile off."

He turned to her, "no element of surprise my dear."

"Yeah, I guess," she said a little sadly.

She brightened, "Can we go and rip out some throats now?"

The leader turned back to the town and smiled to himself. "Sure, why not."

Bart and Millhouse had discovered a hill overlooking the town and were attempting to build a giant snowball.

As Bart reached up to add more snow he said, "Millhouse, I reckons we might just be able to take out that outhouse and maybe bury a car when we set this baby a rolling."

"Yeah that'll be cool Bart'" Millhouse replied non-committedly.

"What's up?" Bart asked, wondering at his friend's lack of enthusiasm.

"Well, I've got a bad feelin' Bart," he replied. "I saw some strange things down there, people who were like, creepin' around."

"Really," Bart replied interested, "like what kind of people?"

"What with the sun being up all the time, I wondered if maybe, y'know, you now who, could show up."

"The Harry Potter evil guy?" Bart asked.

"No, not Voldemort, worse than him, the Reverse Vampires."

"Hah!" Bart exclaimed, sounding briefly like Edna Krabapple. "I can't believe you're so lame. Just because the sun doesn't set and the Simpsons have come here for the first time doesn't mean that …AAAAAAAARGGH."

Millhouse stood aghast in horror. A huge bald man jumped on top of Bart and appeared to be sucking his blood.

Millhouse ran down the hill back into town, "I'll get help Bart," he yelled over his shoulder.

As he ran through the streets, Millhouse could hear screaming and occasionally gunshots, echoing around him.

Upon reaching the hotel he found himself suddenly lifted into the air by a ridiculously strong arm and then carried through the doors into the lobby.

The leader of the reverse vampires held Millhouse aloft.

"See how easily you are caught," he said with soft contempt. "Look at the your doom."

"Lisa! Run. It's the reverse Vampires, they already killed Bart," Millhouse cried.

"Oh my Gah" Lisa cried, choked with emotion she could barely speak.

The leader looked up and around himself nonchalantly, "Gah?" he said and then shook his head "no Gah."

"Hey! What's going on here!" Homer demanded, appearing behind Lisa.

"Dad! They killed Bart, they sucked his…Hey wait a minute!" Lisa stared at the reverse vampire holding Millhouse. "If you're _reverse_ vampires, you shouldn't be drinking blood anyway!"

"Don't be so literal minded," he replied.

"And how come I can understand you?"

"How do we kill them Lisa!" Homer demanded to know.

"You can't kill us" Bart's distinctive voice declared. He walked into the hotel a huge scary looking bald guy beside him.

"And Lisa, you can understand us because you've already been turned."

"What! No!" Pulling the pearls away from her neck, she could see two distinct puncture marks.

"Yes, we decided to turn the 'one who fights' before we revealed ourselves." The leader said with relish.

"Oh, yeah!" Millhouse yelled and bit the vampire on the hand. Jumping down, he ran for a fire extinguisher.

He charged back towards the lead vampire spaying him with foam.

"Take that and this and one of those too!" He said defiantly.

"Oh no, you've discovered our only other weakness" the lead vampire cried, stumbling backwards.

The huge bald reverse vampire ran up behind Millhouse, lifting him over his head he threw him at the wall, where he landed in a rumpled heap.

Millhouse awoke and drowsily looked around himself.

As his vision swam back into focus, he saw Lisa standing in front of him.

For a moment he felt happy, but then he remembered. "Oh no, wait a sec!" he cried, "I saw the marks, you're one of them!" He pointed an accusing finger.

"Yes Millhouse, I'm a reverse vampire, but its okay."

"It is?" He said uncertainly.

"Yes, when we go back to Springfield, you'll be telling everyone that the Simpsons have come down with a condition that means they can't go out after dark."

"Oh yeah! What if I don't." said Millhouse defiantly.

"Then you won't be able to people that you're my boyfriend." She said coyly.

Millhouse gaped at her. He was in a quandary.

"Gee, I don't know' Lisa, I mean I can't cover for you while you all feed on people's blood."

"Don't forget Millhouse, I'm a vegetarian, I've persuaded everyone to only drink carrot juice instead."

"No Way. Is that true?"

Of course if isn't, she thought to herself, but what the hell.

"Yes and even Homers agreed. You know what a pig he is, heh." She laughed uncomfortably.

"Your lying Lisa!" He yelled. "The only way I'd go along is if I was one of you!"

Lisa frowned, "we already tried that, for some reason you're immune." She shrugged. "Guess you leave us no choice then" she advanced purposefully.

"Just a tooting minute!" Ned Fanders said as he heard impatient knocking on his door.

Opening up he saw Homer standing there.

"Well, I see your back for Alaska neighbour-reeno, what can I do ya' for" He asked pleasantly.

"Get lost Flanders," Homer shouted

"What? Then why'd you knock on my door."

"Oh right! Like I'd fall for telling you I'm a reverse vampire now and I've been waiting for the sun to go down so I can do this."

With that Homer leapt and top of a screaming Flanders and proceeded to suck his shoulder.

"Doh!" Homer cried and then proceeded to suck his neck.

As the girlish shrieks of Ned Flanders began to fade, Millhouse turned to Lisa. "So, just so we're straight, I'm not your Renfield."

"No, of course not," she replied, holding the end of his chain, that attached to a studded collar around his neck. "Here, eat your spider!" she said, tossing one towards his mouth.


End file.
